Canning with Grandma

  So I've never canned before and who better to teach me than my own beloved grandmother. My grandmother is amazing! She is in her 90s and still going strong. She lived through the depression, was in the military (where she met my grandfather), a mother of six, and she still managed to have long brown hair into her 80s!

  My grandma leaves her mark on whoever she meets. She is kind, generous, intelligent, caring and an incredible godly woman to look up to.

   I have been blessed by her in more ways than I can count. From shelling peas with her on the back porch to doing times tables while washing dishes. From climbing into her bed at 5 am (no earlier!) with a pile of books for her to read - and she read every one to watching her eat my first kitchen creation (green bean custard---yuck---) which she choked down so graciously. From being granted a place to stay while going to college (with some rent because she always wanted me to know the value of money), to having her open the door for my future husband to set up the night he proposed.

    She is still there for me all the time. I thanked her for teaching me how to can and her response was, "Well that's what Grandmas do," with a little twinkle in her eye. 

 

Due to my schedule she planned around me, staying up late in the evening to help me can. Have I mentioned this women is selfless and kind and amazing?!

Here are some not so great quality photos from our time canning tomatoes. However, it's not the quality of the photos that count but the quality of the time spent and the memories that will be cherished forever. 

PS: Don't worry - she wasn't the only one working - just had to take a step back and get some shots :) 

Sickies and comfort food

Over the weekend my little family came down with something. My husband got hit the hardest and was miserable yesterday evening and night and this morning. Luckily my hard spot was yesterday afternoon and by today I was doing much better.

   
Sooo...to the point...I had a very strong urge to make some comfort food. What type you might ask? Going back to my childhood, I started craving crepes...

   
After looking up some recipes I attempted making crepes for the first time, by myself. EVER! And I'm happy to tell you that it was so easy to do that I can't wait to do it again! 

  To find a recipe, I did what any self respecting woman would do and scoured Pinterest. I found a good basic recipe and went from there. The results were delicious! 

   

  Since I was going for a brunch deal I decided on savory, a sweet, and a sweet and sour. I had yummy mushrooms, asparagus and strawberries that I had gotten from my Bountiful Baskets this week and I was very excited to put them all to use. 

Ham, mushroom, cheddar, asparagus crepe drizzled with a Dijon "white" sauce.

* I sautéed the ham and mushrooms separately with some olive oil and garlic before putting in the crepe. The sauce from the original recipe I cut in half but still had a lot left over. 

Strawberry and chocolate coconut cream icing (left over from a cake) crepe topped with Hershey's syrup.

And the very traditional lemon juice and powdered sugar crepe. 

   Amazing!! Can't wait to try some new combos. What's your favorite crepe filling?

The main crepe recipe came from here.

The savory crepe idea came from this website. 

Confessions of Hateful Parenting

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      Now before anyone freaks out here by the title of the post - bear with me. Read it all the way through and you may have a better understanding of what this title means.

      As a parent I have found many a time that I have over disciplined or under disciplined my daughter or handled a situation badly with my infant son. Now before you reach to the phone to call 911, this isn't about child abuse. I am choosing a word that will draw attention - Hate. This is never
a word one wants to see aside the word Parenting. Therefore, this is also a perfect word for this purpose. Not only is it perfect - but in its own way, it is accurate.


    Hate has numerous definitions. One definition would be "intense hostility and aversion usually deriving from fear, anger, or sense of injury." Now, I am not saying that given this definition that anyone out there, including myself hates their children. There are people out there who do but that is not the norm and this is not what I am addressing.

This post began with a lot more words - words that tried to explain everything - but rather than explaining everything and trying to be philosophical - I have decided to just be honest.  Of course...that still takes a lot of words.

Sometimes, I am overwhelmed. Sometimes I don't care. Sometimes I am angry, fearful, or feel offended. Often times I take the anger that I have with someone else and direct it to another - sometimes my children. Instead of breathing and handing it over to God I wind up screaming and overreacting or just staying silent and ignoring the problem. 

I was convicted of this this morning when God brought the term "hateful parenting" to mind. I was a little appalled by it I have to say. All I could think is, "This isn't hateful. It's not like I'm abusing my kids or want them dead or anything." To clarify the last statement, growing up I was always informed that hating something/someone meant you wanted them/it to die. 

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I had gotten angry and frustrated over something with someone else and then reacted badly to a disobedient act my daughter was doing - finding the markers to draw on something yet again. Now to top off the frustration I already had - I was also frustrated with the person who had left the markers within reach, the fact that I was in the middle of changing her brother's diaper, and that she was disobeying for the umpteenth time what she had been told not to do. However, yanking markers away and yelling and screaming were not the way I should have handled that situation. Hindsight is 20/20 however. 

Would I have immediately concluded that this was a hateful act. No. But when the phrase was brought to mind I began to think on it. Hate, I would say, is closely related to selfishness which can be defined as "having or showing concern only for yourself and not for the needs or feelings of other people". When we act hatefully we are usually acting that way because we are focused on ourselves and not others. When I am more concerned with how I feel and what I want then what my child needs in that moment - I typically respond in a way that is hateful. This includes when I don't say anything at all because I don't want to deal with the issue. It is a complete disregard for my child that translates into a lack of care for their well-being and upbringing.

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It is not because I hate them...it is because in that moment, I hate "parenting". I hate/loathe the idea of being responsible to "parent" my child in the way he or she needs. This brings to mind a couple of things.

#1: I read an article this morning entitled "Parents Hate Parenting Because They're Doing it Wrong." I think the author does make some very good points in here particularly surrounding the ideas of what modern day parenting should look like and the faults it brings. However, that is really a bigger topic that I won't delve into right now.

#2: As a Christian, how should I be parenting? The Bible speaks of "training up a child" and if you do it correctly the child will not depart from it. Now, how intimidating is that? Well it should be. As no one is perfect, parents or children, this is truly an unachievable goal because you can be a great parent and your child can still end up making terrible decisions. We are not perfect parents and so yes, we can try as hard as we can, but that doesn't always guarantee the results we may hope for. However, we still must try our best.
    I found an interesting interpretation of this verse that pointed out also that part of the original Hebrew text refers to training each child uniquely to their form of temperament. Every child is different and therefore some training should vary between children and suit them accordingly. This again, is a long topic to enter into so I will stop here.

 #3: And Ephesians 6:4  and 2 Timothy 3:16 come to mind as well - but seriously if I delve into everything you will never finish reading this and if you are still reading this by now - kudos to you. 

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  So, with these three things in mind - where does that leave me other than more dismayed than I started out? So, I get that I shouldn't hate parenting my children (even in the small moments) and should put their needs first (different than wants). I get that I am expected to train them according to God's word as well. I also get that if one more person says, "That sounds like poor training on the part of the parent" I might scream....so...really where does that leave me?? Other than regret, self-pity and feeling like a terrible parent?

 
I am left - on my knees. I am left praying. I am left realizing that I don't and never will have all the answers. I am left to relinquish my anger, my hatred, my selfishness...to the only One who can really handle it. I am left asking for wisdom on how to guide my children from The One that knows them the best: The One who created them and me. I am left realizing that the only way I stand a chance at really doing this well is listening to The One who wrote the rules.

The joys of frothing

This one is going to be profound, can you tell?

OK, maybe not so profound but definitely yummy! I've been meaning to write this short blog for a while, pretty much every time I make my morning coffee. You see, I have this lovely little device that just makes my morning coffee so positively delightful -- the coffee foamer/frothy thingy! Yes, if you are wondering, that of course is the technical term.

When visiting Austria, I was introduced to this simple wonder of modern technology and fell in love! 

This---is how it works---

1. Grab empty mug, half-n-half (or other preferred creamer), and foamer/frothy thingy:

 There it is, that little wonder of modern invention!

2. Pour creamer into mug filling about 1/4 to 1/3 of the way depending on preference:

3. Time to add the sugar (assuming you are using an unsweetened creamer). I have found that adding the sugar at this point helps the creamer to froth better. My personal sugar choice is organic sugar:

4. Now it is time to FROTH!!!!! 

5. After frothing you can then add your coffee:

See how it doesn't destroy the foam? It's literally quite impressive :)

6. Now, you could be done, or you can top this delightful mixture with nutmeg, cinnamon, caramel...something yummy and also eye pleasing is nice:

Now, to just sit down with a lovely book or word search or whatever else you enjoy:

However, fair warning, if you are a busy mommy you may never get this far. For example, this blog has taken me about 2.5 hours to write between kiddos and such and those books never did get touched. But hey---they're adorable right?? The kids not the books that is.

PS: Had to chase my daughter around to get that shot of her and unashamedly bribed her with a pancake to get it haha!

If anyone is interested in getting their own coffee foamer/frothy thingy and want to search for it...I guess it's more unofficial name is a milk frother --mine is much more interesting I think.

I bought the ones I picked up in the US, online for about $3 apiece so look around for a deal. This one from IKEA on Amazon is the exact same one, only for $7 ish.

Yes...you are welcome :)

Have a wonderful day!

It's Not About Me

      I read an interesting blog post today called - Mom vs. Mom: The War I Didn't See Coming, that was shared by a dear friend. It got me thinking about myself, my shortcomings, my pros, my cons, in fact, almost every little bit of who I am right now.

I began to think of all that's going on and all the things people have said to me and the things that I've told myself. I pondered my secret thoughts of envy and resentment, amazement and appreciation, and also those of pride and superiority.

I look like supermom don't I??? HAH!

For those of you who don't know my situation: I have been married for 4.5 years to a wonderful, loving man and have been blessed with two lovely (but by no means perfect) children. Both of these children were born after we had moved in with with my parents/grandmother 2.5 years ago. We've lived on a back porch bedroom (trust me - nicer than it sounds) for their entire lives so far. My daughter is 20 months old and my son is about 2.5 months old. This bedroom is on the back of my grandmother's house (where we only go into her house to use the bathroom or maybe warm up a bottle/visit her). We do our main living over at my parent's home next door. All my siblings (4 of them: ages 22, 19, 15, and 11) also live at home.

Over the past 2.5 years I have been blessed with love and support from my family, though there have been both many good and bad times. However, the biggest insecurity I'm left with is - Can I really do this?

You see, my husband just got a new job and we will be moving to another state for it (back where we have previously lived). We are both ready to have our own place again (which he will have to find and we will follow later since he has already moved). However, incredible fear is also attached to this. We have never parented alone minus a couple of vacations (which you and I know don't really count). Can we really do this?

When reading the blog above, I found myself convicted over the bitterness that tends to rise in me when I read about another mom's productive day. Despite my joy for whatever mom it may be that day - a ready portion of resentment begins to well inside me as I hate the fact that she may be doing what I would want or think I should be doing. 

I am the excuse queen let me tell you. If there is a reason why not to do something, I'm sure I'll find it. And I have found a lot of reasons why not to share some of these things I am about to share - but after the courage of one of my friend's sharing her rough day - I feel a little more willing to share some truths about my rough times as well.

How we look most of the time....yup....

Truth #1: I was so excited to finally potty train my daughter and sought to do it as close as I could to a method my friend had used. Of course - I wasn't in the same situation as she was when she did it, complicating matters drastically. My daughter did all right at first when we "threw away" her diapers and was excited for the big girl underwear. However, after about a week - we discovered she was just not at the point, and neither were we. She really is so close, but we are under so much stress that we are not teaching her effectively. So yes, she is in pull-ups now - and I feel like a major failure. But, when I begin to think that way, I remember that it's not about me, it's about her and the fact is this just isn't the right time and I have to be okay with that. Because - it's not about me. 

Truth #2: I get distracted easily. I am frequently on Facebook on my phone learning about some mom who has finally realized how electronics are such a distraction, as my daughter begs for my attention...see the issue there? (Don't worry - both kids are sleeping right now as I write this). Don't get me wrong, I don't regularly ignore my children, I'm just not as present as they need me to be. And because of this, I need to change, because - it's not about me.

Truth #3: I am not consistent enough with disciple/training when it comes to my daughter. Sometimes I am just done with the fighting, sometimes I decide it doesn't matter anymore, and sometimes I simply stop caring. However, I know that I need to be better about this but also realize every day is a learning process. I have to remember not to beat myself up about it because then it just becomes a pity party and let's face it - it's not about me.

Truth #4: My default snack for my daughter - cheese. Yup, I said it. It's easy, she loves it and it has calcium and protein. She eats a large variety of things, but at this point, when my fridge is not my own, and days are crazy - well, cheese it is! But, sometimes I have to remember not to make the excuse and remember to make the extra effort because - it's not about me.

And....I really don't like taking the time to cut out coupons; I love the idea about living a healthier lifestyle but don't make huge efforts to change; I don't really care that my daughter still uses a bottle (she can drink out of any other thing if she wants to and does as well); crafts scare me...seriously...etc.

As all you moms out there know, I could go on and on with this list. We all have those things that we struggle with. Things that need to change and things that don't really need to change.

I think there is something we should all remember when we see the mommies out there with their kids and we feel like they have it all under control - or the flip-side where we look down on other moms who don't do things quite the way we do: we must remember IT'S NOT ABOUT ME.

I think mommy wars are definitely a result of too much ME focus. I realize we claim most of the time that it's about our kids, but I think if we really get to the heart of the matter, usually, it's about us. It's time to redirect the focus to the kiddos that make us the moms we are.

I will always try to remember my mother's words, tears steaming down her face as she held my son during one of our many heart-to-hearts: "Don't try to be a 'good mom' or a 'good wife' but focus on doing what's right in the moment and yielding to The Lord. Because everything else is just a checklist and a checklist is nowhere." 

Have a good evening everyone! :)

 

We're a little crazy....but hey...that's ok

 

 

Serving the god of "normal"

Let me begin with...I haven't blogged in about a year and a half...why? Well, between a lack of time and the fact that every time I think of writing one, I never feel like what I have is worthy of or necessary of sharing...I just haven't blogged.

Today, however, is different. I was reading a friend's blog and they mentioned the word "normal". Normal for their family is an incredible relief and a blessing that I am very glad they can experience at the moment, at any chance they can get.

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Still...as I read it...the jealousy began. I truly don't feel as I had any right to be jealous...and yet, it was still there....eating away at me...normal...normal...NORMAL!

I want normal. Boy do I want normal ---or I guess, my version of normal. I think most everyone has their own version of what they consider normal. For me, normal would consist of my own home, a room of my own (with my husband of course), a bedroom for my children (or two), a backyard...the ability to wake up in the morning to just my small family...making breakfast and enjoying it together...having my husband home for dinner in the evenings...having a fridge stocked with foods that I had chosen, and cupboards stocked with my dishes...and the list goes on and on. All of it sounds so simple...and so very unattainable.

This obsession with the "ideal normal" really did a number on me this morning. My stress over not being where I want to be and feeling incapable of getting there made me so very, very angry. Not only did it make me angry, but it also made me resentful.

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Then...as I was brewing over all of this and spreading my anger around on those around me...God brought to mind the reality that my obsession with normal was a WORSHIP of normal. Nowhere in the Bible does it call us to be normal. There is nothing wrong with wanting normal, having normal, enjoying normal when it arrives, and being thankful for it. However, it is not a right...and if it is our primary focus, it becomes a god in our life...and we can't serve both God and "normal." 


I do hope for normal...and want to feel the relief of it. However, if my focus is on God then I can have relief in what is NOT normal. I can trust amidst chaos and confusion. I can be thankful in the trials and frustrations. It's not easy...but then again...a choice for peace over endless bitterness and resentment is necessary. It's not just about me; it is also about being a positive example for my family and being a good wife and mother. I need to be a blessing to them and not a curse. To do that, I have to rest in Christ, and not myself.

Here's to deliverance...and to peace....the normal we all need.

God's plan

 Well, now that it's been over a week since I last wrote...let me explain a little as to why. Life is consistently moving and changing and I feel constantly swept up in the tides. Last week, I found out
we aren't getting the house we put in the rental application for. After waiting and waiting for something to come up in our price range in Yukon...well there you have it. However, the minute I began to get upset I remembered my prayer:

                    "God, if we are meant to get this place and if we can truly afford it please help us get it. If it is not a good plan please help them to say no."

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So, I guess I really can't complain. Right? Since that day, I have seen a few reasons as to why getting that house may not have been a good idea right now. First, my husband and my job situations haven't been improving quite as quickly as originally planned. Second, we have been receiving the run-around from financial aid and neither of us have any for this semester so far...school started today by the way (so guess who is on a payment plan??). And Thirdly, we really needed a new computer, and let's just say that it wasn't the cheapest purchase despite the good deal that we got on it.

Well...lookee there....looks like we can't afford it! Hmmm...to think God may have known what He was doing?

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 Life has been a little hectic with getting ready for school to start and getting prepared to venture into unknown territory for me, the World of Business. For those who need a little background, might I say that I was previously a Theater Education Major. I recently left my University and Bachelor's Program and transferred back to community college (I already have an Associates of Arts Degree), to pursue an Associates of Applied Science in Business Management (nice long title right?).

So how many of you think I am crazy right now by show of hands? Well....thankfully I can't see those hands so let us just move on with the story.

My husband and I have plans to one day have a business of our own. Though this business is one that we see as a goal for the future and not one that is soon to be around the corner, is it something we really feel led by God to do, and it is something that we really want to do too (always a plus).

I have realized over the years, time and time again, though I never seem to understand it in the midst of things usually, that God has His plan. And...His plan is good, whether I always think so or not.

        " For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  -Jeremiah 29:11

       "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." - Romans 8:28

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 Even in some of my most recent experiences, I have seen God work for the good in my life. I remember thinking, when my husband and I were trying to get pregnant, that God must want me to be infertile or something and how could He do this to me? We've been trying for over a year! Doesn't He care??? But then...I did get pregnant. Not when I was living with my husband in our own apartment or in the house we had hoped to buy, but by the time we were living with my parents because we could no longer afford the home we were in. 

That did not seem like good timing to me then. And yet, it was also the time I was finally covered under the insurance under my husband's work which paid for all the medical bills at virtually 100% (which was quite the blessing with a NICU bill for a two week stay). Also, my family was around, especially my mother, who, having had 5 children of her own, was sympathetic to my pregnant self but still knew to check me on my attitude when I needed it. In addition, my mom was there to take me to the doctor numerous times and was the one who took me in for observation when my doctor thought I might be going into labor. And then when I was cleared of pre-term labor, less than a month later my mother was the one who rushed me to the hospital (Brad was at work, but we were able to call him when I confirmed I was going into labor and he hurried to the hospital) where I delivered my daughter at less than 36 weeks. She was also there to bring me food, clothing, and keep me company while I stayed in the NICU (she was there for two weeks and I was there for most of that time) with our daughter and Brad worked. She has been there since I left the hospital to support and advise me on caring for my daughter, always being helpful but not overbearing. Also, she watches my daughter frequently so Brad and I can work, go to school, and even have a date night here and there. God knew what He was doing when He put me near my mom!

We were also really blessed to have such a good staff at Mercy Hospital. I thank God so much for them.

Also, over the time of living with my parents, Brad and I have really grown together in our marriage despite many struggles and continue to be better for it. 

 In other words, we are so blessed. It is funny because even the fact that Raelyn was born early, in many ways, was better. It fell on vacation for me from school and work (her due date was initially supposed to be after the new semester had started). I was able to take extra time off for work to be with her than I initially thought I would have, and I had such an amazing teacher who really worked with me for my on campus class so that the attendance wouldn't be a large factor that semester as long as I completed the work. 

God has a plan...even when I don't understand it. And...even in other situations where I can't see the light right now and wonder if I ever will...God is still good.


                                    Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
                                                     for his compassions never fail.  
                                                                 They are new every morning;
                                                          great is your faithfulness. 
                                                           Lamentations 3:22-23

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