Serving the god of "normal"

Let me begin with...I haven't blogged in about a year and a half...why? Well, between a lack of time and the fact that every time I think of writing one, I never feel like what I have is worthy of or necessary of sharing...I just haven't blogged.

Today, however, is different. I was reading a friend's blog and they mentioned the word "normal". Normal for their family is an incredible relief and a blessing that I am very glad they can experience at the moment, at any chance they can get.

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Still...as I read it...the jealousy began. I truly don't feel as I had any right to be jealous...and yet, it was still there....eating away at me...normal...normal...NORMAL!

I want normal. Boy do I want normal ---or I guess, my version of normal. I think most everyone has their own version of what they consider normal. For me, normal would consist of my own home, a room of my own (with my husband of course), a bedroom for my children (or two), a backyard...the ability to wake up in the morning to just my small family...making breakfast and enjoying it together...having my husband home for dinner in the evenings...having a fridge stocked with foods that I had chosen, and cupboards stocked with my dishes...and the list goes on and on. All of it sounds so simple...and so very unattainable.

This obsession with the "ideal normal" really did a number on me this morning. My stress over not being where I want to be and feeling incapable of getting there made me so very, very angry. Not only did it make me angry, but it also made me resentful.

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Then...as I was brewing over all of this and spreading my anger around on those around me...God brought to mind the reality that my obsession with normal was a WORSHIP of normal. Nowhere in the Bible does it call us to be normal. There is nothing wrong with wanting normal, having normal, enjoying normal when it arrives, and being thankful for it. However, it is not a right...and if it is our primary focus, it becomes a god in our life...and we can't serve both God and "normal." 


I do hope for normal...and want to feel the relief of it. However, if my focus is on God then I can have relief in what is NOT normal. I can trust amidst chaos and confusion. I can be thankful in the trials and frustrations. It's not easy...but then again...a choice for peace over endless bitterness and resentment is necessary. It's not just about me; it is also about being a positive example for my family and being a good wife and mother. I need to be a blessing to them and not a curse. To do that, I have to rest in Christ, and not myself.

Here's to deliverance...and to peace....the normal we all need.